 It is my absolute pleasure and a great honour to be sharing this blog with you. As you know from my previous blog ‘Out of the dark and into the light’, I came across Peak 1 Boxing Club in early December last year. I was in need of taking my mental fitness recovery to another level and I certainly needed to get my physical fitness back on track after going through a exercise hiatus and putting on a fair bit of lard. The moment I walked in to the club I knew I’d found the right place and I was instantly excited. I met one of the owners/coaches Claire who made me feel very welcome. Learning that the club was owned and run by a veteran and a former first responder couple I knew this would be a safe place to train, a place where I could find a sense of purpose and belonging again.  Over the past couple of months I’ve been training at the club on average 2 to 3 times a week, I signed up for an ongoing discounted membership offered for veterans and first responders. The membership packages at the club in my view offer real value for money training, far greater than those offered by the various gym franchises and personal trainers. My fitness level has improved dramatically and my mental resilience has increased exponentially. I have to add, the club isn’t just somewhere to train and get fit; it’s also a safe place for people to open up. After the morning training sessions, normally ‘boxing training’, battle bags’ or ‘military boot camp’ Mick and Claire provide a mug coffee or a tea and a friendly place to sit and chat, where members get to know each other, share stories and experiences. Again, this is something you rarely get from gym communities. It’s clear that the club, whose coaches are all either veterans or first responders, have extended their former career families into the gym community. That being said, people of all ages and walks of life are warmly welcomed, this isn’t an exclusive club, it’s an inclusive club where members leave ego’s at the door.  PEAK 1 Boxing Club was founded by ex 9 Parachute Squadron RE Mick Hale and his wife Claire a former Police Officer. PEAK 1’s Head Coach, Mick, boxed for the British Army as a boy soldier out of Chepstow and for 9 SQN. After completing his Army Physical Training Instructor (PTI) course he also coached the squadron team and individuals competing in the British Army Boxing Championships. Later training as a civilian Personal Trainer and now a Level 1 Boxing Coach with Boxing Australia. Claire, a Boxer, Level 1 Boxing Coach and Personal Trainer, has a policing background of 15 years spanning across Thames Valley Police, Metropolitan Police and Western Australia Police. With the highlight of her career serving in the Metropolitan Police - Tactical Firearms Response Unit, SO19. Soon after migrating to Australia in 2006, they moved North to the Pilbara for a residential role for Mick, now a Emergency Services Officer (Medic/Fire) with Rio Tinto. The Community soon discovered their passion for Boxing and a small store room in the centre of Wickham became a Boxing Club, PEAK 1 was born. Run as a not-for-profit Boxing Club, the volunteers provided boxing coaching, fitness and competitive pathways for the local community. As one of the smallest clubs in WA, they delivered some outstanding results with 6 x State Boxing Titles, 2 x World Masters Titles and 1 x Australian Youth Champion. With 2 of their Amateur Boxers going on to turn Professional. Now located in Butler in the northern suburbs of Perth, they have proudly opened a premium training facility spanning 200sqm with a full-size ring.  The club mantras ‘PURSUE EXCELLENCE AND KNOWLEDGE’ and ‘TRAIN HARD, FIGHT EASY’ adorn the walls in giant letters along with flags, huge boxing pictures and a good news wall dedicated to the club members. Mick & Claire know all too well that it isn’t easy to transition out of the services into civvie street and it makes perfect sense that their vision has now evolved to include providing meaningful opportunities for veterans and ex-emergency services personnel to both train and coach at PEAK 1 Boxing Club. Everyone is made to feel welcome whether civilian, ex-services or serving personnel and all are encouraged to reach their full potential. With an obvious military style to their training, the core values of respect for yourself and others, discipline and hard work begins at the Junior Boxers and runs through all training sessions. PEAK 1 Boxing Club are an Amateur Boxing Club registered with Boxing WA and Boxing Australia. All classes are mixed ability, catering for both beginners to elite alike, with experienced coaches ensuring everyone is working on the basics, correct boxing technique, whilst training to improve fitness and skills. So why don’t you pop down and join in   PEAK 1 Boxing Club
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Peak1BoxingClub/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/peak1boxingclub/ Email peak1boxingclub@gmail.com Address 11/2 Amesbury Loop Butler WA 6036 Telephone (08) 9563 1735 Thank you so much for visiting my blog: Jase The Kilted Rogue Runner Suicide Attempt Survivor / Lived Experience Keynote Speaker / Facilitator / Email: TheKiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/jason-nelson-0209a33b ABN: 83503382187 Please feel free to contact me, to become a guest blogger or provide feedback via email at: The KiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com If you or anyone else you know is in crisis please seek professional help https://www.beyondblue.org.au Tel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au Tel: 1300 65 94 67 http://www.sirensofsilence.org.au
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I first met Lachy about 3 years ago. I was introduced to Lachy’s story by his partner Katie who is a friend and work colleague. Katie shared a blog that Lachy had written about his story and attempt on his own life. Lachy’s story was beautifully written, authentic, raw and compelling and I knew from that moment I had to meet this bloke and learn more. Lachy and I have since become great friends, absorbing and fuelling each others energy while we journey along our paths to create a cultural shift in society to break down the wall of stigma that has been built over many years. Lachy never ceases to amaze me, 20 years younger than me but shows a maturity beyond his years, I certainly wish I had his insight on life at that age. Lachy’s story or part of it is shared in this guest blog, but there are so many more layers to this great human. Not only has he risen from ashes of adversity he’s since created an amazing weekly podcast which he hosts. I can tell you it’s not one to miss. Lachy strives to continuously educate himself about all things mental health, with that knowledge and his own lived experience he has developed an amazing empathetic interview style that makes it easy for his guests to Open Up, which incidently is the name of the podcast. I was honoured to be one of his guests; he’s now well on his way to his 30 episode engaging real people and real stories. Personally I can’t wait to see where Lachy is going to go with his passion and purpose, I have a feeling before long he will become internationally recognised for his amazing work. Thanks again for reading. Before continuing to read Lachy’s powerful and raw story 'PLEASE CONSIDER THE CONTENT', if it causes you to feel uncomfortable in anyway, please talk to your loves and/or seek professional medical help.  Lachy and his lovely partner Katie Hi, I’m Lachlan Samuel, host of the Open Up Podcast and I tried to hang myself. My story starts while working FIFO in Western Australia. I was working a 4:1 roster, spending 4 weeks away at a high-risk construction site with every 5th week being at home with my partner. My god the money was good, but as you can imagine, the time away left a hole in whatever relationships I had and had distorted my perception of normality in relation to them. As a result of this time away, accompanied with my wandering eyes and selfishness, our relationship completely broke down, becoming so toxic and argumentative that we eventually ended it. With my week at home now over and these problems now following me away to work for another 4 weeks of isolation, my work ethic became non-existent and I ultimately compounded my troubles by being told to resign before I was fired. OUCH! Two months later, while travelling NZ with a beautiful Canadian girl I'd met on instagram, I get a call from my ex-partner letting me know she was pregnant with my baby, which I’d selfishly deny for the next 6 months. Upon returning home from NZ, now unemployed and expecting a baby, I finally act like the responsible grown up I am, and use my savings to buy an old pop-top campervan, like something off of old McDonalds' farm and travel, travel, travel… AKA me running away from my problems, burying my head in the sand of WA’s most iconic beaches. Throughout this travel though I’d come to realise that I wanted more from my life than good money at the expense of relationships and normality, but I also recognised that my skills or qualifications at that point wouldn’t allow me to become anything more. DAMN!  This realisation lead me to make the delusional decision to start my own business, in a field I had absolutely no expertise in. So I hustled and I pitched, meeting some of Perth’s most influential businessmen, receiving handshake offers and words upon words of encouragement, for it all to come crashing down, taking my pride, some friendships, and my entire savings with it. After this my life spiralled out of control. I lost my identity as the FIFO worker making a shit load of money. I lost my identity as the in shape “gym-bunny” and I lost whatever confidence I had left. I was now beyond broke and broken beyond repair. Still running from FIFO I began working as an Uber Black driver, eventually stealing 10 mints per day from my charter vehicle because my wage didn’t even cover my bills and child support, so I was too broke to eat. I was borrowing money left right and centre. From my parents, from friends and even from people who I knew were worse off than me. I had gone from the independent son and friend who’d made the audacious solo move to Australia, willing to sacrifice his life now for a brighter future tomorrow, to a guy who now had nothing yet took everything. I had become a burden, financially and mentally on the people I love and I knew it. This story screened in the cinema of my mind for days on end until finally, one morning, I woke up and knew what I had to do. It was time to put the people I love first and remove the burden I’ve created. It was time I relieved my daughter of the pain of growing up knowing her father was a loser and a failure. It was time. I walked out to the garage behind our home, strung up a rope, tied the noose and casually stepped up onto a crate. I stared through it, so at peace with what was about to happen and slid my head through. I took a step off that crate and it’s as if as soon as the rope had caught my neck, time slowed down for me to understand what was really happening. What I was doing to myself, but more importantly, what I was doing to the people I loved. My life literally flashed before my eyes as I kicked and squirmed hanging like bait on a hook fighting to get free. I remember seeing my daughter holding her mothers hand. It was her first day at school and I wasn’t going to be there for it. I could see she didn’t understand why other kids had both their parents with them and I began sobbing as I choked more. Somehow I snapped back to reality and found myself grasping at the rope around my neck, reaching out my leg with everything ounce of energy I had left.  Lachy's beautiful daughter who ultimately and unknowingly saved his life I finally got my foot back to the crate I had stepped off of in the first place, collapsing to the ground like I’d just finished a marathon. “WTF did I just do?” I thought. “Did I really just do that?” I stayed there for a while, slumped over, shaking and crying, contemplating my life and imagining the pain I almost caused the people I love. I thought about my daughter growing up without her dad’s hand to hold, and without his love. In those few sobering moments, I found something to live for. I realised I needed to be there for her and that I needed to do something about the journey I had allowed my life to take. It was time.  MY RECOVERY From this point I spent the next three years working tirelessly on my mind, implementing and testing different tips tools and tactics to help me get back on track mentally. These are my top three for you to implement and test. Meditation: According to Cambridge English dictionary, the definition of this is “the ability to focus on one thing only” and that’s exactly the ability you’ll cultivate. For beginners, try the app Headspace, which has guided meditation sessions ranging from 3mins to 30mins, with additional explanations regarding what you’re doing and why. An added benefit of meditation, in some cases, is cultivating the ability to breath deeply into the diaphragm or belly. In doing so we activate the vagas nerve in behind our diaphragm, which then switches us from the stress dumping state of fight flight or freeze, back to calm state of rest and digest, or rest and relax. Grounding: Unknowingly while chasing sunsets every day for the entire year following my attempt, I was taking photos and appreciating scenery, all while being connected to the earth barefoot. Put simply, the earth’s surface is negatively charged, and when we connect to the “free energy” source, our body release antioxidants as well as shifts back to the parasympathetic, or the rest and relax like above. Positivity: Yes this may sound silly to some, but the law of attraction states that you get back exactly what you put out into the universe. So if you’re emanating positivity, its only natural it’ll come back to you. Along with this, by turning negative situations or thoughts into positive ones, we begin to breakdown old pre-wired patterns in the brain, ones which have us looking for something to be angry or jealous about, instead building new ones that allow us to search for the positives in negative situations more frequently, which in time will become habit, and if you’re habitually sending out vibrations of positivity, you’ll habitually find yourself among positive people, engaging in positive activities, ultimately inhabiting a positive environment. Osho famously says, "Where light exists, darkness cannot". This means then that where positivity exists, negativity cannot. The more positive we are, the more we lessen our opportunities to become negative. Thanks for reading Lachlan. Instagram: @open_up_podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/openuppodcast/ LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/lachlansamuel Email: Lachlan@openupgroup.com Links to the podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/open-up-podcast-with-lachlan-samuel/id1359096106?mt=2 https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/open-up-podcast-2/open-up-podcast  Thank you for joining in on the blog.
Please fell free to contact me, to become a guest blogger or provide feedback via email at: The KiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com If you or anyone else you know is in crisis please seek professional help https://www.beyondblue.org.au Tel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au Tel: 1300 65 94 67 http://www.sirensofsilence.org.au Chantal and I have been friends for a few years now, and I think I can speak for both of us when I say that sharing our recovery journeys with each other has cemented our friendship. Chantal’s story is beautifully written, it shows her strength in her own vulnerability even in in the face of adversity; its depth and raw honesty will undoubtedly be a comfort to others that may be in the throws of internalised battles through a shared identity, that there is HOPE. One thing I’ve certainly learned is, that ‘through struggle comes strength’ and Chantal’s story certainly epitomises this. Thank you Chantal for opening up and sharing xo Before continuing to read this wonderful blog please ‘CONSIDER THE CONTENT’, if it causes you to feel uncomfortable in anyway, please talk to your loves and/or seek professional medical help.  My name is Chantal, and I’m a 38-year-old unemployed single mother of three. This time last year I was very proud of my full-time job, and I looked forward to establishing a healthy relationship with a man I was falling in love with. A lot can change in a year. I’ve experienced a fair bit during my short time on this earth, and if I were having a bad day, I would simmer the experiences down into a black tar of negative thoughts thick with despair. Luckily, I’m not having a bad day, and I’m not feeling particularly sorry for myself. I’m in Koh Samui, Thailand, on my own, enjoying my first real holiday in a long time. Today if I look back on my life, I see challenges that I overcame, I see an education in resilience, and I see opportunities for self-improvement. A quick summary of some of the majors in my life. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, PTSD and Ankylosing Spondylitis. The first signs of depression surfaced at around 18 years old, and after 20 years has settled into a 6-weekly cycle of week-long lows, a couple of days recovery, and a moderate run at depression free living. At about the 5-week mark, I’ll become awash with generalised anxiety fuelled by some issue like finances or relationships (sometimes irrationally), which will induce a depressive episode. While I congratulate myself on my ability to kick depression in the butt after a week, and recover in a couple of days, I am still actively working on the triggers for anxiety, so I can break the ‘cycle’ altogether. Sometimes anxiety can be useful – the stress helps me to be very organised, make plans, maintain a clean household, and (I think) be efficient at work. But overall, anxiety is not a friend to me. Organisation and cleanliness can quickly turn into OCD behaviours. Making plans can sometimes turn into Life Planning and setting the bar way too high, leading to massive disappointment; and high work efficiency has led to multiple burnouts and breakdowns. I developed PTSD after a fatal motor vehicle accident when I was 20, but it has hung around due to other chronic stressors in my life. The Spondylitis is a degenerative form of arthritis, also known as Bamboo Spine, as it causes the fusion of the spine into a rod. From the age of about 19 I have suffered chronic back pain and was finally diagnosed with arthritis and treated accordingly since the age of 24. My flare ups can sometimes be so debilitating I can’t tie my own shoelaces. Those diagnoses aside, in 20 years I have created three marvellous human beings who have at times been my sole reason for living. So what have I learnt, and what can I share? Here’s some solid tips to creating a support network if you’re a survivor of anxiety and depression like me. One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is to find a GP that you trust with everything you’ve got. It’s hard to do, and it means a few appointments with GP’s that don’t fit the bill before finding the right one. If you visit a GP regularly, for things like random mole checking, upset tummy sick notes, odd headaches that won’t abate, medication, etc. then it will become quite easy to ‘let it slip’ that you are not feeling too crash hot in terms of mental health. Being able to say you feel generally low, have poor concentration, randomly cry, freak out at the shops, can feel your heart beat in your chest after no exertion, want to sleep for a week – is the first step to getting the help you need. Your mental health is totally worth ten minutes of your doctor’s time to say aloud that you think something is wrong with your head. It’s an acknowledgement that you are willing to explore what might be the underlying cause which and may include blood tests for lady or man problems to rule out physiological issues, as well as a frank discussion about your thoughts and feelings (including those of self-harm). Your GP can offer short-term medication options, and referrals to other practitioners. My GP is responsible for my Mental Health Care Plan, which is a bare-all document listing all things wrong with me so I don’t have to explain it over and over again when I go to see other doctors or specialists. One thing my GP reminds me to do is to talk to my family.  Family. I might not know what the cause of my sadness is at any given time, so talking to family is not necessarily to talk through issues and try to find solutions. Talking to family, for me, is to tell them that I feel sad, despondent, worthless and helpless. It’s to tell them that I am not coping. It’s to prepare them for other follow up calls or texts that may include “I’m gonna come around and sleep over if that’s ok”, or “I’m off to hospital tomorrow”. All families are different, and mine has a nice history of anxiety and depression shared almost equally amongst my siblings and parents. I am very lucky with my family, in that I know I can say what needs to be said, despite what they might be going through themselves, because I’m worth the love and support they can give me to help me through the tough times. I’m sure the most common worry with communicating to family about mental health that most people experience is being a burden. Thinking that you will just be an annoyance, or upset the apple cart, or make them anxious or upset. The truth is, you will probably do that to them, but what makes a family great is that it won’t matter. Family doesn’t necessarily need to be blood. Lots of people don’t have any family for one reason or another. Your family could be your partner, a close friend, your core girlfriends or your best friend. It could be anyone that you can trust and feel comfortable enough to say “I’m not ok”, and they will have your back. You’ll see I’ve put GP above family when it comes to mental health, and for my own personal needs, that is the order they have to go in. For me, because I’m a scientist, I find that talking clinically to a doctor about my condition is very beneficial, and then I go to family for the emotion-heavy support. Psychiatrists. I’ve been seeing the same one for 5 years, and he has seen me through the period post childbirth, through marital breakdown, through extreme work stressors, through unemployment, through new relationship creation and breakdown, and through hospitalisation. It took one call to my psychiatrist in February to organise admission to a mental health facility. No bullshitting around – he already knew what I was going through because I routinely spilled the beans to him. He can recognise when it’s time for a change in medication, and tells me off when I start becoming slack with my counselling appointments. The only negative with seeing a private psychiatrist (which I highly recommend because you can see them when you need to, as opposed to when the public health system decides you can have an appointment), is the cost. With a Mental Health Care Plan the out-of-pocket cost is quite low, but still a burden when you’re an unemployed single mother. But, when you consider how valuable a psychiatrist can be in times of crisis, they are worth borrowing a few bucks for. Psychologists, Social Workers and Lifeline. At the moment I see a social worker through Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service (VVCS), of which I am eligible because my Dad holds a DVS card. Psychologists, Social Workers, Lifeline or any other impartial counselling service can play a crucial role in mental health improvement over the longer term. They can teach you meditation, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques. What I’ve found most beneficial is working through the triggers of my anxiety. I know anxiety triggers my depressive episodes, so finding the cause of the anxiety for me is the key. Simple things like lack of sleep, chronic pain and being over-worked (the paid and unpaid kind) are obvious triggers for me, but there are others that are harder to define and still need exploration. Having a solid, trusting relationship with a counsellor can be soul-soothing and life-saving, but more generally they can provide life-guidance and support when it comes to making sensible decisions. Hospitalisation. For me, the first time was early this year. I think I did pretty well avoiding it for 20 years, but after my stay I thought, “Why didn’t I do this earlier?” There were times over the past couple of decades when hospital would have been a great idea, but I was heavily burdened by my own judgements. I thought that going to hospital was a sign of weakness. I couldn’t be viewed as a good mother and a wife if I went to hospital, could I? Even though I had a friend that was hospitalised after giving birth, and I totally respected her and her husband’s decision to do it. I thought nothing less of her. I visited her during her admission. But for me to do it - that seemed different. If I had managed to tough it out for so many years, then surely I could keep on toughing it out. But no, I couldn’t. And when I finally realised that I couldn’t look after myself anymore, I made the call to be self-admitted. To be honest, I don’t know if there is a stigma around heading off to the psych ward, because there isn’t one for me anymore and I couldn’t give a f**k what anyone else thinks. I know now that if I feel like I need to go, I can go. There were lots of people there who were just like me – men and women. I see those people as brave, and I know I was brave too – for choosing life. We were all our own heroes. Right now I’m on a mini journey of self-discovery. I need to do some soul searching because I have some personal issues that need some serious thinking. When I was at home I was busying myself with housework and Netflix and not doing a whole lot of thinking, so I chose to get away, and I picked South-East Asia to do it. I know that I am doing the right thing by taking some time out from my normal life to resolve some unhelpful thought patterns and put me back on the right track. For me, this trip is the self-care I need right now. When I go home, I would have made some decisions with a clear head and be refreshed and full of enthusiasm for life ahead. That’s the plan anyway. I have to say, when Jason asked me to be a guest blogger, I experienced some trepidation. I am currently progressing through the Family Court and I’m ultra-sensitive to what information could be used against me. But I remembered back to my first Family Court appearance in April, after having been discharged from hospital for 2 months, when the Magistrate all but congratulated me on being self-aware enough to admit myself to hospital and get the treatment I needed. I decided that this blog wasn’t going to be about my struggles, but rather the tools I use to move forward on my journey of recovery. As I said earlier, I’m a scientist, so what I’ve written may seem all very cut and dry. To me, it is. I follow the steps and use the support networks outlined in my Mental Health Care Plan, make sure its updated every year, talk to my GP often, get my meds from my psychiatrist, cry a lot to my counsellor, and have a family fully across my health. The end result is that I am still here, and I am finding I have more good days than bad, and I know that this will continue. I’m sure I’ll always be shadowed by depression and anxiety, but if I take the time I deserve to concentrate on getting well, those shadows will be gradually broken apart, bit by bit, and radiant sunshine will pour through. Chantal x  Thank you for joining me.
Please fell free to contact me, to become a guest blogger or provide feedback via email at: The KiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com If you're in crisis and need help, please seek professional medical help. https://www.beyondblue.org.au Tel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au Tel: 1300 65 94 67 http://www.sirensofsilence.org.au It's with great pleasure that I get to introduce my lovely friend Katie. Katie and I were Police Officers at the same time with Cheshire Constabulary, although we never worked together back in the day. Katie and I got to know each when she moved to Adelaide, I was already established in a new life down under here in Perth when moving here to work with WA Police, we were put in contact with each other so I could provide what advice I could with Katie's move to South Australia. Fast forward a few years and Katie and I ended up working together in Perth as Senior Investigators for the WA State Government for a few years before Katie and her husband moved back to Adelaide. Katie is also an active fellow member of the Rogue Runners Club Australia. During our time working together and since, Katie and I have become great friends and in doing so have openly shared and supported each other along our respective mental fitness recovery journeys. Each persons battle with mental fitness, regardless of diagnosis, is completely unique to them, although both Katie and I live with depression and anxiety, and our paths have crossed, our recovery journeys are completely different and as they should be. Thanks for sharing your story Wreny, you're a legend!! As always please 'Consider the Content' of the blog post before reading, if any of the content makes you feel uncomfortable, please seek professional medical assistance.  Hi my name is Katie aka Wreny. I am 36 years old and I’m a happily married professional. I’m a former Police Officer, a qualified lawyer and currently an Investigator for a large government compliance and regulation agency. I also run my own consulting business, KEW | Consult, which provides specialist investigative training workshops, teaching forensic interview techniques, statement taking and dealing with vulnerable witnesses. More recently, I’ve started the journey to becoming a lived experience speaker to share my mental health and female Police Officer story. I live with Anxiety and Depression. I can’t really remember when I was diagnosed, but I certainly remember being depressed before the age of 10. Following a considerably low period over the last 6 months which saw me not being able to get out of bed, or stay awake beyond 8pm even after 10+ hours of sleep, I insisted on a broad range of blood tests. As a result of that, I was found to have a homozygous mutation of the methylene-tetrahydrofolate reductase (or MTHFR) C677T gene which very simply means that, unsupplemented, I can only metabolize 30% of the folate I eat. That, along with my suffering Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PDD) is what I believe to be the main drivers my depression.  My signs and symptoms vary but, in summary, at certain times of the month, I feel extreme lethargy, have a lack of concentration, am extremely emotional, whilst also being apathetic, unsociable and generally very down. When not on medication, I am unable to get out of bed. With my medication, I don’t suffer as much with anxiety but, when I do, it manifests as a tendency to catastrophize about issues and I become hyper vigilant which itself is a form of PTSD from previous emotional abuse suffered in relationships. My recovery journey to date has included seeing various general practitioners and counsellors. Counselling kind of worked for my hyper vigilance and trust issues, but not for PDD, for which I take antidepressants. The main help for me has been my husband, whose patience and emotional intelligence has helped me understand my worries and challenge them on a consistent basis. I now supplement the lack of folate my body is able to mobilise with folic acid and vitamin B12, take SSRIs for the PDD and focus on my physical health, through nutrition and fitness, strength training and yoga. My husband and I also have a love of travelling enjoying our honeymoon hiking in Nepal and most recently spending time exploring Greece.  My message to anyone who may be doing it tough right now would be:
You will not always feel like this. Sleep if you need to sleep; eat shit if you want to. It will pass. Look to someone who will support you when you’re at your crappiest and keep using their energy and their hope to keep you going until the help/solution reveals itself. Never stop looking!!! Depression and anxiety are unique in that their symptoms are usually tiredness/exhaustion, but that’s what they proliferate in any attempt to deal with them too. Over the long term it is SO tiring to keep trying different things, and failing, and having to go again. But I promise you there is a way, you just have to find yours!! Wreny x PS Everyone go to your doctor right now and insist on a blood test for MTHFR mutations and homocysteine levels! And please ensure you take time out for your own self-care. Kate Wren KEWCONSULTING Investigator Trainer Speaker HQ: Adelaide Teach: The World Email: kewconsult@gmail.com Instagram: @kewconsulting and @roamfree82 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwren FB: https://www.facebok.com/KEWConsulting1/ Thank you for joining me. Please fell free to contact me, to become a guest blogger or provide feedback via email at: The KiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com https://www.beyondblue.org.au Tel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/ Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au Tel: 1300 65 94 67 http://www.sirensofsilence.org.au  Jen and I connected through Facebook around October last year. At the time I was in the middle of major battle with PTSD symptoms resulting from reporting childhood child hood sexual assault by a former cadet instructor, that had occurred to me 33 years previous, I was fighting this war within myself while waiting for the court proceeding to play out and before I could receive other psychological therapy such as Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR). I finally made the trip to Bullsbrook to meet Jen and the herd at 10am on Friday 2 March 2018, this period of time was particularly difficult for me as the court case was only about two weeks away. The next 4 hours were nothing short of amazing. I’ve always loved horses, majestic and graceful animals with eyes that can penetrate into your deepest being, however I’ve been so connected with them before this day. Jen and I sat on the big log in the centre of the arena, under the shade of a tree and just quietly chatted in the presence of the herd. The serenity of Eagle View, being close to nature and the connection with the horses, in particularly one, Kouri, not only helped me relax but also identify injuries I’d been carrying which I had to work on.  Above: Kouri the wonder horse at the beautiful serine surroundings of Eagle View. After sitting on the log for some time, Kouri who was quietly standing behind us slowly moved closer and then gently nudged me several times in my upper left back several times with his nose before slowly moving around the front of us and then having a pee. Jen explained that Kouri was picking up on pain I was carrying, taking some of that energy from me and then as he moved around and had a pee was discharging that energy. Sounds strange right? What Jen didn’t know before that occurred was that I was carrying a left shoulder injury which had been troubling me. Furthermore, as Kouri was stood in front of us he began making strange faces and moving and flicking his right ear for a period of time. Jen explained that this could be mirroring behaviour from my connection with Kouri. Again, what Jen didn’t know was that throughout February I had been flying around the state regularly for work and the regular changes in air pressure had been causing me some pain in and around my right ear. After some time in the arena, I began to cry, not because I felt emotional as such, but I just began discharging what I know now as tears of stress relief, and a couldn’t stop them flowing for a while. When my PTSD is at full alert, the amygdala in my brain is firing on all cylinders, this is the part of your brain that initiates our natural intuitive reactions such as fight, flight, freeze or appease. When the amygdala is firing it’s like and alarm going off that you can’t turn off. For me that causes anxiety, sleeplessness, paranoia, hyper vigilance etc. I can tell you being with the horses, helped turn off that alarm and helped me sleep. I’ve been back to see Jen, Kouri my wonder horse, and the rest of the herd several times, most recently a special guest for a fundraising morning tea Jen put together to help me travel to speak at mental health conferences in August. I totally recommend giving Jen a call and going to visit the herd. Jen is continually learning and undergoing training and study to improve upon the amazing work she does. So enough of my lengthy introduction, please read Jen’s guest blog. Thanks Jen, it’s an honour and a pleasure.  The Kindness Project – Equine Facilitated Learning My journey into recognising how the body retains trauma and the concept that trauma is a full body and mind experience, came during my study into equine bodywork and several energy-based modalities. It was during this time learning that I began to see how trauma had impacted the horses physically and that during the combined processes of bodywork and energy work I was able to help the horses process their traumas and discharge the associated energy. After these processes had happened the physical and mental changes were quite dramatic. At this time, I was introduced to ‘Equine Facilitated Learning’ which led me on a new pathway of connecting people and horses, and seeing how horses were able to impact peoples healing and aid the journey of people reconnecting to themselves. It was here that I had found my absolute purpose. I completed several different trainings and discovered the work of Peter Levine and ‘Somatic Experiencing’ this is when all the pieces really started to fall into place. I am now into my third year of study to become a ‘Somatic Experiencing Practitioner’. This modality allows the practitioner to aid a person to connect with their body through the felt sense instead of being a talk-based modality. When a safe environment has being created clients are able to connect with their felt sense and discharge energy that has been held in the body due to an event, which caused their survival instincts to take over. Trauma occurs and resides within the body when the survival charge is undischarged and therefore becomes trapped.  Above: Jen working with a client and horses in the arena My herd and I work in a large open area, where they have the freedom to interact with clients as they see fit. We do not ride them and vary rarely do we use any form of tack, ropes or halters on them. They also live as freely as possible on 100 acres of mostly natural vegetation. I believe my horses connect with a client by freedom of choice; this is one of the most important aspects of what I do at ‘The Kindness Project’. The horses help create the safety by helping to hold space for people in a non-judgemental environment. They also have an incredible ability to engage a person’s nervous system whereby through an energy exchange they are able to affect a human’s heart rate variability, blood pressure and breathe rate. They interact this way with members of their herd to create a safe environment and ensure their survival from predators. If a dysregulated nervous system is within the herd it will draw the attention of predators who seek to take the weakest prey. Therefore, if a dysregulated human enters their herd we pose a threat to their safety and the horses will come and help regulate your body. Horses are extremely sensitive to energies and I have found they are able to read our bodies and find places of discomfort; it has been my experience that through touch they are able to help shift and process people’s energy for them. This connection also allows them to see things that are currently affecting a person life, and I have regularly encountered them playing out a scene for a person just like a movie. It can be something that is causing the person issue and will be from their past, present or future. Not once have the horses got it wrong!  Above: Jen and a client, making that soulful connection It is my absolute belief, through research, training, personal experience and my connection to my herd that they willingly help the humans who enter their space. The horses and I see that every person that chooses to work with us is completely worthy of healing their trauma and finding their true self. The herd as individuals and as a collective have an incredible gift and if a person is willing to be available the horses are willing to share themselves with you. As people who feel broken arrive, I feel they must have seen a glimmer of their own worthiness and are keen to help find their whole self once again, and that is something we are able to help them do.  You can contact Jen and find out more information on The Kindness Project as follows:
Watch some of Jen’s work https://youtu.be/cbByRMzIc5A Website: http://thekindnessproject.net.au Email: info@thekindnessproject.net.au Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekindnessproject/ Tel: 0404050628 This story is nothing short of incredible! It's my honour to share this story from Phil Hewitt. Phil truly epitomises every fibre of what a ROGUE RUNNER is, 'Running with Heart'. A few months ago I had the pleasure of being one of Phil's fellow 33 runners invited to be interviewed for his book, incidentally called 'Outrunning the Demons' which is due for release January 2019. Like me, Phil and the others featuring in the book, use the power of running as a therapy, meditation and time for self-care. I could not refuse when asked to be involved and for one can't wait to get my hands on a copy when it is released. Thanks Phil, keep on running brother!! Please consider the content of this blog, it may make you feel uncomfortable that may relats to one or more of your own experiences. Should it make you feel uncomfortable at all, please speak to a person you trust about how you feel, and/or seek professional help or even send me a message. The trouble with being stabbed, assuming you survive, isn’t so much the knife that goes into you. No, the real trouble is the mess of thoughts it leaves behind – thoughts, in my case, far harder to deal with than the physical injuries. I was walking back from watching England lose a one-day international against South Africa at the gorgeous Newlands cricket ground in Cape Town in February 2016. And I was stupid. I made bad decision after bad decision. I carried on walking when I should have walked back, and I walked straight into danger – danger quickly realised. In a ghastly, grim, crime-ridden suburb, I was stabbed twice in the leg by a mugger demanding my camera. The weird thing is that the stabs felt like punches, which is probably why I fought back. I pulled him to the ground, where he started kicking me in the back, which was the moment I looked down to see by leg was awash with blood. No, those punches most definitely weren’t punches. I let go of my camera, and my attacker got to his feet and loomed over me. I wasn’t getting up. To make doubly sure, he unleashed a volley of kicks to my chest and stomach before legging it through the rubble and undergrowth. Thank goodness, a passing pizza delivery driver stopped within a couple of minutes. There was an awful lot of blood. He bundled me into his car just as I was thinking that my number was probably up. And he whisked me to hospital. 15 stitches. Three broken ribs. A bruised liver. And one very, very messed-up head. And that was the problem.  Phil in Cape Town after the attack, a bit pale, bruised in pain and now battling with his ow thoughts I like to know things. That’s my nature. But suddenly I was in a world where I knew nothing at all. What did the knife look like? I hadn’t seen it. Where had my attacker been all day? What did he get for my camera? Did he stab anyone else that day? How grubby was the knife? How many people did he stab that day? How many people has he stabbed since? It’s more than two years ago now. But I still want answers. Does he remember me? Is he even alive? Surely, you can’t carry on doing what he was doing with impunity. Questions, questions, questions – and all I had and have still got is the complete impossibility of answers, especially not to the big ones: what would have happened if pizza driver Steven had simply driven on by? Do I owe my life to fluke or masterplan? I haven’t got a clue. Within a couple of weeks, out and about for the first time, I had a horrid panic attack in a busy shopping precinct. I don’t think anyone noticed, but for five minutes, if anyone had touched me, spoken to me, even come near me, I would have dissolved into tears. I just wanted the ground to open up beneath me. So what did I do? The next day I did what I have always done. I ran. And it hurt like hell. Broken ribs. Flesh barely healed. But something lifted. It’s two years, three months ago now. I am jumpy. Sudden noise makes me leap out of my skin. My memory is abysmal; my concentration is dreadful. But I am still here. I have added three more marathons to my pre-stab tally of 30, and I count them the most precious marathons of the lot. I have still got PTSD and frankly can’t see it shifting any time soon, but running gave me strength. It makes me, ME again. And that’s precisely the subject of my new book. 'Outrunning The Demons' will be published (simultaneously in Sydney, London and New York) on January 24 2019 – my tribute to the strength of character that running allows us all to show. The book is based on 33 interviews with people from the UK, the US and Australia who have faced awful circumstances and have found that the best way back is to run. These are people who have lost loved-ones to murder, have been caught up in terrorism, have suffered depression, addiction, alcoholism or bereavement, have been viciously attacked, have braved horrid illness, have suffered the horrors of war or have suffered outrageous misfortune. But the thing that links them all (apart from speaking to me!) is that they have found space and time and connection through running. Running has helped them grieve; it has helped them heal; it has given them freedom; it has renewed and nurtured them; it has helped them move on, re-emerge, reclaim their lives and become stronger people. These are fantastic people. Wonderful people. Open. Warm. Wise. Generous. Brave. Just fabulous. I am really hoping their stories will touch you as much as they have touched me. I am thrilled that Jason Nelson, Australia’s Kilted Rogue Runner, is among the people I have spoken to. He is a brave man, a fine man, a man who has himself, found so many answers through running. Like me, he knows that running can never be the solution to everything, but like me he knows that running can help put us back together, especially if we share our stories with others who have been through similar traumas – exactly as the book does. I am sad to say that I haven’t met Jason, yet, but he is my brother in the shit we’ve been though. Running has been my therapy. I’d always run. Now I knew why. And this book has been my therapy too. And I am so unbelievably excited that I can now start counting the days to publication. I am really hoping this book will spark your curiosity – and to those of you who are actually in the book, thank you, thank you, thank you for speaking to me and helping me see that yes, trauma will change us, but it certainly doesn’t have to claim us. I hope the tales of strength will lift you as much as they have lifted me! Phil will update about the book on – https://philhewittauthorofoutrunningthedemons.wordpress.com/ Or please link up with Phil on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/phil.hewitt.524 The book can be pre-ordered on – https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/outrunning-the-demons-9781472956514/  A completely different looking Phil, after a heartfelt run no doubt
Thanks again Phil! Such an amazing story of finding strength through struggle Please fell free to contact me through the blog comments section, whether it's to become one of my guest bloggers, seek advice or provide feedback. You can also contact me via email at: TheKiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com Should you feel in a position of crisis or need some assistance please seek help https://www.beyondblue.org.auTel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.auTel: 1300 65 94 67  I met my good mate Rahul while we studied a CERTIV in Mental Health together last year. I soon discovered that this guy has a BIG heart and who is a very generous and benevolent giver of his time, passion and compassion. Rahul Seth is a Chartered Accountant turned MENTAL HEALTH CHANGE MAKER. He is the founder of the Perth Active Depression Support Group, a Meetup group that focuses on recreation to improve the members mental health and wellbeing. In the two years he’s run the group he has amassed over 1,500 followers.  Colouring in. What thoughts pop in mind when I mention this activity? I bet it’s probably a past time that you did as a child & not an activity as an adult. I’m writing this today to convince you of the benefits of adult colouring. In a recent admission to a mental health hospital I was generously given an adult colouring set by a friend. The book was filled with intricate detail of natural images ranging from animals to plants. It’s so intricate that I’ll never finish colouring it in my lifetime (and I’m only 30 years old)! This therapy is absolutely amazing. There are so many benefits to it. The first benefit is that it requires low concentration. All you need to focus is putting pen onto paper and shading in the white bits. The great thing about this is that there is no way to do it incorrectly. You can shade in one or many colours. The sense of touch is very therapeutic. This also gives a workout to the left artistic side of your brain. When you’re battling mental health it’s often the right side that you use to process thoughts. It’s important to give it a rest and focus on something else to deregulate. It also teaches you about life. Sometimes I am doing a big picture which has lots of minor detail. At first I look at the picture & panic and think it’s going to take me ages to do. But then I start to work on a small area and give it my full concentration. Before I know it I’ve conquered the section & moved onto the next one. The big picture gets colourful and looks amazing. Can you see the parallels to life?  One thing that I’m now hooked on is digital colouring in. At first I didn’t like it as it didn’t have the same sense of touch as with the pencil on paper. However I got quickly addicted. It’s a lot of low concentration tapping that leads to stunning visual graphics that you can’t produce with the traditional pen and paper. You pinch and zoom into the areas to get the detail just right, just like the analogy of concentrating on the small parts of life to get the big picture. There are free apps for this but most offer a subscription service to do it. I recommend try the free ones first to get the hang before committing to a paid app. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed though if you go down the paid route. Colouring for adults. Who knew it could be so therapeutic?  Rahul works professionally in the mental health sector.
His hobbies include Photography, Formula 1, Graphic Making and of course Colouring In. Follow Rahul on Twitter @RS_au or Instagram @Rahulsethau. For Perth Active Depression Support Group visit the Meetup page at www.meetup.com/PerthADSG  It’s an absolute honour to share this latest guest blog post from my new mate, kindred spirit and legend - Dean Gladstone.
You may recognise Deano from the Bondi Rescue TV Series. As well as being a professional lifeguard Deano is a Personal Trainer, Yoga Instructor, Wellness Coach and self confessed Heath Food Nut. You have seen Deano undertaking countless life-saving rescues, providing critical first aid to rescued patients on TV and undertaking amazing fitness feats along with his life guard team mates. But behind what you see on TV is a personal story that Deano has carried for some time. Like so many of us behind the façade of our outer selves there is often inner journeys of trauma and recovery that have affected our mental fitness. Deano’s recovery journey continues and he has kindly shared with us his coping strategies and tips for a healthier lifestyle both physically and mentally I know writing this blog wasn’t easy for Deano to go through, and recognising that, Deano sought additional support to help him through it, demonstrating that it’s more than ok to seek help when you need it. Thanks Deano! You’ve certainly inspired me mate Please consider the content of this blog, it may make you feel uncomfortable if it relates to one or more of your own experiences. Should it make you feel uncomfortable at all, please speak to a person you trust, and/or seek professional help or send me a message. Here we go…. this is Deano’s story… “Well, it’s a small but unforgettable part of my story, one that changed the course of my life! 12 years ago my life wasn’t bad. I was doing ok at most things and I liked my work, my friends, sport and fitness. I had a girlfriend and my family was great. Then came the moment when it all changed. On a night out, early evening, I was sipping my first beer. A guy ran up from behind and smashed me in the face with his fist. I didn’t see him coming and was knocked unconscious. This single cowards punch was so severe, my 4 front teeth were knocked out. When I regained consciousness, he was on top of me, continuing to attack me. I could taste the blood in my mouth and could feel my teeth bent back at 90 degrees or missing. My front teeth were never found. I was rushed to hospital in a neck brace. I did receive spinal damage but luckily, not near my spinal cord so I could walk unaided, but the anxiety and fearas a result of the injuries meant it would take me weeks to leave the house. I only left if I had to, for dental appointments and other essential medical and police meetings. It took a couple of months to return to work. The dentist did what he could to make me look better with an artificial tooth and repairs to the other damage, but I was struggling hard mentallyto get through each day. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome(PTSS) and the anxiety was severe. In addition to the physical damage, I also developed allergies that I had never had before. After meals, my nasal airway would block up and I’d have to breathe through my mouth which made restful sleep much more of a challenge - I hadn’t been sleeping well after the assault anyway. Then there was the unbearable skin irritation. I would scratch myself in my sleep, sometimes until I bled. I wasn’t familiar with dermatitis and eczema but they became part of my life, which doctors attributed to me living with PTSS. The nightmares, frustration, anger and resentment were also apparent. I just wasn’t myself! I had so much support from the boys at work and my family. I was lucky enough to stay working but I still relied on family for emotional and financial support - the medical bills were high – over $50k on dentistry alone. I realised I desperately wanted my health back.It became my obsession and for me to do it, I had to make massive changes in my life. I stopped the sleeping pills, doctors and other commercial medication, replacing them with naturopathy, acupuncture and massage therapy. I’d stopped drinking alcohol and didn’t like to be out where alcohol was consumed. I didn’t feel safe around alcohol. It’s been a long, tough journey and in some ways, I’m still on it. Here are some of the changes I made to help me with PTSS, anxiety and my other health issues. Celebrating little victories Making little improvements and acknowledge the success. The combination of these two can have a massive impact. Cutting down on toxins – Reducing 2 sleeping tablets to 1 and then none. If you are a smoker, reduce the cigarettes or days/times you smoke. If drinking is your challenge, drink no alcohol on school nights or reduce the volume. Every little step in the right direction is fantastic. I found little steps meant the ultimate goal didn’t seem too unachievable. Acceptance There had to be acceptance for what happened. You can’t change the past but you can write the future. After accepting the assault and the challenges that followed, I found gratitude in a number of ways. We all know the one punch victim stories are awful, but I realise I was one of the lucky ones, I could have been killed. If this assault is the worst thing that happens in my life, I will be very grateful. Thoughts, Breathing, Hydration, Nutrition, Movement and Rhythm I learned to influence my mood, my stress level and many other things by controlling other variables in my life. The biggest part of my life that I could easily influence was my diet. Clean eating made the most amazing difference to my mind and body. I cut out processed food, increased my vegetable intake and drank enough quality filtered water - these are 3 tips that everyone could benefit from. Processed food often has the 3 major nasties in one hit - sugar, gluten and vegetable oil. Avoid these for better physical health and mental health too. Embrace change If you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you always got. I changed and I didn’t apologise for it. I rebuilt a new, smarter, tougher, stronger, kinder and better me but it took bravery and commitment to change. Exercise – my drug of choice Feeling stronger, fitter and more able is so empowering. I encourage everyone to find some form of exercise that they enjoy. Walking is great exercise. I needed to build strength, work on my posture, improve mobility and get back in the ocean. Being grateful and positive is a practice Writing down what you are grateful for is highly recommended as is setting new goals, learning new skills and trying to be a better version of yourself. Less than perfect is ok I actually became a little over-obsessed with my new lifestyle and criticised myself when I couldn’t get achieve all I perceived would make me better. The perfectionism I’d placed on myself began to affect me. I needed to learn that some days it was ok not to be perfect. I learnt to accept that balance is good. Don’t go it alone Rely on your support network. Reach out for help. Spend time with your friends and family and let shit go. Sometimes it takes losing something to make you realise how important it is to you. For me, as a Lifeguard and Fitness trainer my health was everything. Hopefully others don’t need to have a moment like this to realise what is important. Deano.” Get in touch and keep up to date with Deano: https://www.instagram.com/deanogladstone Please fell free to contact me through the blog comments section, whether it's to become one of my guest bloggers, seek advice or provide feedback. You can also contact me via email at: TheKiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com Should you feel in a position of crisis or need some assistance please seek help https://www.beyondblue.org.auTel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.auTel: 1300 65 94 67 Hi everyone. Please give a warm welcome to our latest guest blog from my lovely friend and fellow Rogue Runner Sian. It’s been an honour getting to know Sian these last few years, how honest Sian is about her body image journey, sharing tips and self-help coping strategies I have actually learned much about myself. It is commonly known, via mainstream media and more recently social media that girls and women live with body image issues. However, what isn’t commonly known is that can also affect boys and men too. Please take the time to read a snippet into Sian’s journey. Sian is currently writing book, which will hopefully be published soon, personally I can’t wait to read it. As always please consider the content before you read on, should any of the content make you feel uncomfortable, please seek support from your loved ones and/or a medical professional.  Who am I? Hi I’m Sian and I’m 27 years old, I’m currently finishing off my bachelor degree in counselling. So why did I decide to study counselling? I’ve always believed that prevention is better than cure (but that doesn’t mean you can’t heal) from body image issues, you absolutely can. When I hit 13 is when I started struggling with acne, this was the beginning of a downward spiral for me. Once my acne was cleared I had already developed this unhealthy obsession of searching perfection externally, and the onset of disordered eating began. I literally thought the skinnier I was, the more boys would be interested in me as well (face palming myself right now). It honestly wasn’t until I hit 21 and I fell to rock bottom, lost, confused, underweight and undernourished that I made make a drastic decision to move countries, I needed a new environment. It changed my life or actually it saved my life, but it wasn’t and hasn’t been a walk in the park, and one thing I really want to drive home is that having a good relationship with myself and my body will always be a work in progress, because there is no such thing as perfection but I no longer want that. I just want to be happy and comfortable in my body and help others get there too. So that is what brought me to studying counselling, as I was working in the fashion industry as a stylist I became acutely aware that I wasn’t the only one who had gone through these issues, in fact I shudder to think of how common it really is. I realised styling alone wasn’t fulfilling enough for me, I loved dressing people and giving them confidence for the outside but I realised it was the inside that would make long-lasting changes to ones confidence, I clicked and made the mind-body connection. I returned to Perth in 2013 and enrolled in my degree. How did my bad body image affect my mental well-being? As I was under-eating and over exercising my brain was being starved of essential nutrition. I was going on weekend benders every weekend and realised that I could go out and drink and not eat and I’d lose weight even quicker. Studying counselling opened up many wounds of why this developed, not eating was one thing I could control in my life. If you’re not eating good foods you’re not thinking good thoughts, it is something I remind myself of and a motto I live by. What have I learnt by trials with food and diets? I think I tried my first diet at 15 (the special k diet where you eat it twice a day, you say it, I’ve probably tried it). I detest the word diet. As I mentioned before developing a ‘good body image with you’ is a progress. For two years I was vegetarian and vegan for six of those months, it was the first time since I started healing that I had started falling down the trap again of disordered eating. I was ignoring signs of my body fatiguing from intense Ironman training and getting caught up in ethics, being vegetarian wasn’t working for me, and it was so incredibly hard for me to face that up until my body literally broke down. I slowly started eating fish and chicken again and started feeling so much better, I then made a commitment to myself to LISTEN to my body as best as I could. I now eat intuitively and live a lifestyle of eating as real as possible, that’s all. As simple as that. You need to find ways of eating that work for YOU, and I truly believe that’s unique for everybody. Some other ways I have progressed with a healthy body image was by cooking. I found it therapeutic and started to learned to put love into my cooking, which then absorbed into my food. You’ll rarely if ever see me eat regular chocolate or ice cream or McDonald’s and that’s simply because I enjoy the alternatives like Grill’d, coco whip and raw treats. I am not depriving myself but rather I’m nourishing myself with real food, which is nourishment for my brain. Eat good foods, think good thoughts.  I live by, every single day a concept called D.C.D. D: Determine - how I’m feeling for that day. C: Criticise - I am critical (and not in the negative sense) of thinking any negative thoughts and detox them from my mind, I do this every single day and it’s stopped me from depriving myself of food and falling back into disordered eating. It’s like a way of checking in with myself and it’s something I’ve learnt and developed through studying as I’ve developed my self-awareness. D: Decide - how I’m going to show my body love for the day. Whether it is by moving my body that shows kindness (yoga is by far the best form of this I’ve found). Secondly, deciding to be as conscious as possible of my negative thoughts, and acknowledging them but then letting them go. I believe healthy body image is not about being perfect or finding perfection it’s about progressing to finding a peace with yourself and within your body. I won’t sugarcoat it, I still have bad days but that’s because I’m a human. This cliché , “We are all imperfectly perfect”, by embracing that and being okay with it is not and overnight job Look out for my book coming soon... Please follow me instagram @abodyofpeace  Please fell free to contact me, to become a guest blogger or provide feedback via email at: The KiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com
https://www.beyondblue.org.auTel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.auTel: 1300 65 94 67  Anzac Day for me, as for all Australians and New Zealanders, is a day for reflection, remembrance and gratitude. Like many, I think about the millions that paid the ultimate sacrifice fighting for our freedom. Additionally, I also think of those who survived and came home, many with physical and often debilitating injuries, and without doubt, the emotional lives of all of our returned services personnel were and continue to be changed forever. In addition to the physical scars, they carry the emotional and mental scars. After World War I and II they called it ‘shell shock’, more recently we’ve become to know this as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and more recently, the move to replacing the negative connotation and the word ‘disorder’ and calling it Pots Traumatic Stress Reaction (PTSR). For me personally, each year I use the day to remember my family and friends that have proudly served, and continue to serve in the armed forces. Furthermore, I remember those friends and colleagues from my policing career in Cheshire Constabulary and Western Australian Police who have paid the ultimate sacrifice while serving on ‘the thin blue line’ proudly protecting lives, property and public safety. At the same time I’m also grateful for all of the emergency services personal that go to battle everyday on our streets, often facing the worse that society can throw at them, for our safety and wellbeing. I am extremely proud to have served in the Royal Navy, Cheshire Constabulary and Western Australian Police, honoured to have worn the uniform alongside my friends and colleagues; whom many of which I will hold dear for the rest of my life. I read an article over this week in The West Australian written by my friend Tasha Broomhall - Director and Mental Health Strategist at Blooming Minds https://bloomingminds.com.au In the article I wasn’t surprised to learn that suicide rates increase by 13% when personnel have left the armed services and that unemployment rates are 5 times higher for services personnel after leaving the services. Read the full article here: https://www.pressreader.com/australia/the-west-australian/20180425/281865824077519 This made me wonder how many of our veterans and emergency services workers past and present practice ‘Self-Forgiveness’? I haven’t done any research into this, but I would take a guess based upon my own experience and my interaction with veterans and former emergency service workers that the number would be quite low. Additionally, when attending the PTS17 Conference last year in Brisbane, working on improvements for personnel 'transitioning' from the services is now at the forefront of the Australian Defence Force. This year, I chose Anzac Day to commence the next chapter of my personal re-discovery as part of my mental fitness recovery, through the practice of ‘Self-Forgiveness’. We hear a lot about the importance of forgiving those who have harmed or wronged us. My personal belief currently is that certain things, which are beyond reason, such as the most despicable crimes, cannot be forgiven. You may feel different and that’s ok. But what about forgiving ourselves? Isn’t that important as well? I believe that it is. Shame and guilt make us feel bad about ourselves. You see when we feel guilty we should take time to learn that it is ‘okay’ to make mistakes and when we feel shame we should time to learn that it is ‘okay’ to be whom we are. ‘Self-Forgiveness’ is essential if we want to practice mindfulness, or being present. The more ’Self-Forgiveness’ you practice, the more shame you heal, and the more you will be able to see yourself clearly. Your relationships with others and within yourself will improve. So how can we practice 'Self-Forgiveness'?
For me I have learned that understanding the trauma I experienced created many of my symptomatic behaviours. Dealing with this through psychological therapy has gone a long way toward forgiving myself for the ways that I reacted and behaved. Behaviours such as self-medicating, with drugs and alcohol to cope with anxiety, pain and fear, and the subsequent flow-on effect that had on my loved ones. Self-compassion helps us understand that as human beings we are all in fact vulnerable at times, that during times of difficulty and stress it is inevitable that we may make wrong choices and experience bad feelings. Self-compassion can release you from the guilt and shame that prevents ‘Self-Forgiveness’ and free you to take positive action towards recovery with clarity. Who we are, our thoughts and behaviours are intrinsically related to other people and events. When we feel shame it can close our minds and hearts to others and your sight becomes blurred and even blinded to your behaviours. When we begin to understand we can be affected by an infinite number of factors, we can be less judgmental of others and ultimately ourselves. Sometimes we just need to stop, take a breath and reconcile with the fact, that often we’re really doing the best we can, given the hand life has dealt us at that particularly moment in time. Although we must accept we can be fallible and vulnerable, we must not lose sight that we are also extremely strong and resilient; we human beings are the perfect imperfection. As such we must embrace the dignity of risk while striving to thrive but this must be done without disrespecting yourself or others. Taking responsibility may also include admitting to others, such as other family members, by spend time explaining about the reasons (not excuses) behind your actions and behaviours. When we are able to develop hope, self-determination and courage to work past the ‘force-field’ that our fears create, we can build a deep sense self-respect, which in turn fertilises our self-esteem, grows our self-confidence and we’re able to refocus on purpose and belonging as we bloom. Over the last week since practicing ‘Self-Forgiveness’ through writing, affirmations, exercise and conscious thinking, my family and I have noticed that outwardly my mood has become more stable, my motivation to tackle things has improved, I have begun to sleep better. Internally I’m not having as many conversations with myself about things I felt guilty and shameful about, in short I’m not beating myself up so much. Do you practice ‘Self-Forgiveness’? Please let me know? Please fell free to contact me, to become a guest blogger or provide feedback via email at: The KiltedRogueRunner@outlook.com https://www.beyondblue.org.auTel: 1300 22 46 36 https://www.lifeline.org.au/Tel: 133 11 14 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.auTel: 1300 65 94 67  |
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